I personally know 8 silent lambs and their 3 abusers
A not-so-silent lamb
Aspire to inspire before you expire
Lady Lee
JoinedPosts by Lady Lee
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39
How Many Silent Lambs Do you Know?
by Cassiline ini thought it would be interesting if we started count here on this board.
please list how many you know personally, then add from the previous results, to keep a running tally.
i realize it wont be an accurate count but perhaps an estimate of those that we know or are aquatinted with.. i'll start.. 3 +.
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Lady Lee
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WTS Says We Didn't Know 20 Years Ago, Not!
by blondie inquote] progressive understanding.
"people didn't have the body of knowledge 18 or 20 years ago to say that this is something that will harm your child emotionally, if you don't address it.
parents didn't know the seriousness ... and the long-term effects.
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Lady Lee
Blondie there was a discussion on this last night on one of the threads - but drat I forgot which one
A not-so-silent lamb
Aspire to inspire before you expire -
15
What SilentLambs means to me
by Lady Lee ini left the jws over 17 years ago.
when i left i thought the org was right but the people were wrong.
she was not warned that he was physically abusive to his children.
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Lady Lee
I left the JWs over 17 years ago. When I left I thought the org was right but the people were wrong. Over the last few years I have done a lot of research concerning the WT org. I know realize I was wrong. The people are striving to do what is right. It is the WT org that is wrong and presents itself as the only true path to God.
When I was 12 years old the elders were informed that my step-father was sexually abusing me. He had previously sexually abused a relative of mine and she was sent to live in another city. He remained in the congregation and in my home. When the elders found out he was also abusing me I was sent to another city and he remained in the congregation. No one was ever warned to keep their children from him. He was not active in service and never got baptized. He eventually left my mother when the elders pressured them to marry. Before he left he sexually abused my yonger sister. Why my mother didn't toss him out earlier is beyond me, especially since she knew he had abused his daughters in his previous marriage.
At 16 yrs old I went to live with my mother and by the time I was 18 she pressured me to marry. I knew after two weeks this was a mistake but stayed because the religion provides no recourse to end the marriage except for adultery or death. For 15 years I tolerated this man's sexual demands of me - most of them forbidden by the JWs. When I finally went to the elders out of desperation they told me to be a good wife, be in subjection to my husband, and provide the marital "due". To cover up the possibility that he might be reproved for his abuses to me and his physical abuse to our 2 children he stepped down citing "to spend more time with my family". He did this the week before he knew I was going to the elders.
The elders disfellowshiped me for a one-time incident which turned into a rape. He was not reproved for his 15 years of abuse. No one knew what happened except that I was disfellowshipped although I an sure people talked about it. He remarried a new sister in the congregation. She was not warned of his past unacceptable sexual demands. She was not warned that he was physically abusive to his children. Everything was swept under the rug - his reputation intact - mine in tatters.
I left in shame. My mother stopped talking to me. In fact the whole family did. And they treated my 2 children who continued to live with their father like they were bad associations. My 2 innocent children were marked by the congregation because their mother was DFed. I never dreamed they would turn on my girls. After almost a year of this both girls begged to come to live with me and the court agreed.
I went into therapy to deal with the child abuse. And we talked about the spousal abuse. Both my girls got counseling. There was a lot of harm that had been done and needed to be dealt with. Slowly the 3 of us learned to hold our heads up when we passed JWs on the street or in the mall. We learned that living in fear of the condemnation fo these people meant nothing. We moved on with our lives.
During this past week and all the attention on SilentLambs I have more fully realized I am not alone. Thanks to all the child survivors and wives who have shared their stories. This problem of pedophilia in the congregation is not a new one. I knew of my case and my family but I also knew another young girl who was in our congregation. Her father was an elder and I just knew she was being abused. No one told me but I knew it. Years later it came out in the media that her father indeed had been sexually abusing her. If I recall she was DFed for her accusations. I don't recall what happend to him. But I can guess and think I would be right.
I don't even want to think about how many others there are. Bill
s site says it all. Well most likely not all. In fact what Bill has on his site is probably only the tip of the iceberg. That is a truly scary thought. For the most part the issue at the moment is pedophilia.What kinds of numbers would we get if all the physically abused children and wives came forward. What about all those people who are married to non-believers who abuse them. What about all those closet alcoholics that bring their dysfunction to their families.
It actually makes sense that the WT org is so dysfunctional. From its early beginnings with Russell and Rutherford with sexual misconduct and alcoholism as their hidden secrets, there is no way this org could have been built on an honest and open foundation. All addictions have a foundation of secrecy. The undesirable addiction must be hidden from view. It is this mindset of fear of discovery that establishes the foundation for all theory and belief. Control becomes essential to keep the secrets hidden. Manipulation becomes the tool.
By controling the information that followers have they can then contol the thinking, feeling, and behavior of members. Just like any abusive family, the need to appear OK to outsiders reinforces the demand for the above. The more dysfunctional the family is the greater the need to hide reality and contol the members to the secrets are not disclosed.
Secrecy becomes necessary not only to appear OK to the outside world but the more dysfunctional the system becomes the great er need for individuals to believe that what they know is not what they know. This is how cognitive dissonance allows the members to know one thing and believe antoher that is contradictory to the first. A person told me years ago that when he would get up in the moring he would have to step over his father's passed out body on the kitchen floor. The father had been out drinking all night and was literally passed out. The mother always told him that dad slept there because he had a bad back. it was total nonsense and eveyone knew it but a myth developed about dad's bad back. The whole family bought into this bad back myth to explain away the fact that their alcoholic father was passed out on the floor. By continuing to believe the bad back myth the family can go about its day without having to really think about how dysfunctional/sick the family was. They could face the world with a happy face.
It seems to me that the WT org is no different.
Denial is the core part of cognitive dissonance. If I do not know what I know then I am OK. Whether this is 1 person, or 1 family; whether this is one organization or even a whole country - the basic belief becomes we do not know what we know.
It is through this denial/belief/myth that the JW org and its membership can continue to live without conscience and not reach out to help the victims of pedophiles within their ranks.
It is with this denail/belief/myth that the JW org and its members can say they didn't know how many or how damaging or that they did what they thought was right.
It is this denial/belief/myth that the WT org can DFed anyone who refuses to believe the denial/belief/myth for causing divisions or being apostate.
It is this denial/belief/myth that will force them to continue with their denial that anything is wrong. They will claim persecution from a few unhappy dissidents.
I have no idea if any of this will force the WT out of its denial. I actually doubt it. After all these years they are so entrenched in their denial/belief/myth that it might be impossible for them to be honest. The myth has a life of its own and won't allow them to know what we know. Hopefully some of the members will be able to know what they don't know and that will help them to leave. Hopefully all of the media attention will prevent potential converts from falling into this snare of Satan.
It is also this denial/belief/myth that prevents them from following the loving example of the God they profess to follow and care for the silent lambs.
I was one of those Silent Lambs.
I am Silent No More
*********-**********A not-so-silent lamb
Aspire to inspire before you expire -
65
Watchtower Media preps for Dateline!
by Dogpatch inwatchtower spin doctors!.
dr. gail bethea-jackson tells us that we didn't know what child abuse was 18-20 years ago.
gag on this one!.
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Lady Lee
excuse me???? she has worked in the field of abuse and victimization and doesn't know about all the work - books never mind all the academic journals that dealt with abuse - she is as big a liar as the WT
A not-so-silent lamb
Aspire to inspire before you expire -
65
Watchtower Media preps for Dateline!
by Dogpatch inwatchtower spin doctors!.
dr. gail bethea-jackson tells us that we didn't know what child abuse was 18-20 years ago.
gag on this one!.
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Lady Lee
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Watchtower Spin Doctors!
Dr. Gail Bethea-Jackson tells us that we didn't know what child abuse was 18-20 years ago.
-------Who is she trying to kid. The following is a list of books printed 18-20 years ago OR MORE on family violence and incest. This is just a list of books that I have in my library. In the video she says that she never heard of this when she was in school. Duh - gotta wonder where she studied.
Abusing Family Justice, B. & Justice, R. 1976 NY: Human Science Press Family violence academic
Battered Wives Martin, D. 1976 NY: Bantam battering - academic -
Dark Side of Families: Current Family Violence Research. Finkelhor, D., Gelles. R.J., Hotaling G.T. & Straus, M.A. (Ed.) 1983 NY: Sage
A Child is Being Beaten: Violence Against Children Chase, N.F. 1976 NY: McGraw-HillChild Abuse is Scary Parent's Anonymous 1977 Torrance, CA: Parent's Anonymous
Child Abuse: The Developing Child Kempe, R.S. & Kempe, C.H. 1978 Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press Child/abuse - academic -
Child Sexual Abuse: New Theory and Theory Finkelhor, D. 1984 NY: Free Press Child/Sexual/abuse - research -
Children of Trauma: Rediscovering your Discarded Self Middleton-Moz, J. 989 Pompano Beach, FL: Health Communications self-help - survivors
Common Secret: Sexual Abuse of Children and Adolescents Kempe, R.S. & Kempe, C.H. 1984 NY: W.H. Freeman and Co. Child Sexual abuse - academic - research -
Conspiracy of Silence: The Trauma of Incest Butler, S. 1978 San Francisco: New Glide Child Sexual abuse - academic -
Cry in the Night Clark, M. H. 1982 NY: Simon & Schuster
Curriculum on Child Abuse and neglect National Center on Child Abuse and Neglect 1979 Washington, D.C: U.S. Department of Health Education and Welfare Child abuse
Daddy's Girl: A Very Personal Memoir Allen, C.V. 1980 Toronto: Seal incest - autobiography -
Father-Daughter Incest. Herman, J.L. 1981 Harvard University Press
Frances Ann Speaks Out:My Father Raped Me Chetin, H. 1977 NY: New Seed Press incest - biography
I Never Told Anyone: Writings by Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse Bass, E. & Thornton, L. 1983 NY: Harper & Row biography - incest
Incest and Human Love Stein, R. 1973 Dallas: Spring Publications incest academicIncest: A Psychological Study of Causes and Effects ... Meiselman, K.C. 1979 San Francisco: Jossey-Bass incest - Treatment - Child Sexual abuse
Kiss Daddy Goodnight:A Speak-out on Incest Armstrong, L. 1978 NY: Pocket incest - adults - survivors -
Outgrowing the Pain: For and About Adults Abused as Children. Gil, E. 1983 Walnut Creek, CA: Launch Press
Sexual Victimization of Children. de Young. M. 1982 Jefferson, NC: McFarland
Sexually Abused Children and their Families Mrazek, P.B. & Kempe, C.H. 1981 Oxford: Pergamon theory
Sexually Victimized Children Finkelhor, D. 1979 NY: Free Press Child Sexual abuse - research
Silent Scream Janssen, M. 1983 Philadelphia, PA: Fortress biography - poetry - incest
Silent Sin: Case History of Incest Woodbury, J. & Schwartz, E. 1971 NY: New American incest - biography
Voices in the Night: Women Speaking About Incest McNaron, T.A.H. & Morgan, Y. (Eds.) 1982 Pittsburg, PA: Cleis Press incest - survivors - biography
Who Speaks for the Children? Silverman, P. 1978 Don Mills, ON: Musson Book Co. Child abuse
A not-so-silent lamb
Aspire to inspire before you expire -
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Benton Kentucky Press Conference
by silentlambs in31 silentlambs were present for the press conference on the courthouse steps in benton, ky. reporters from five news media recorded information for various news sources.
the weekend newspapers should be interesting to read.. silentlambs .
press conference opening statement:.
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Lady Lee
Awesome interview - thanks to Bill and Lexxus for speaking out
A not-so-silent lamb
Aspire to inspire before you expire -
20
Dateline website showing the program now
by Mulan incheck out the dateline website.. http://www.msnbc.com/onair/default.asp?program=dateline%20nbc.
tuesday, may 28 - 10:00 pm et .
dateline nbc investigates allegations that jehovahs witness members have covered up cases of child molestation in the church.
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Lady Lee
I am printing up some business cards with the Dateline info on them - will be handing them out today and over the weekend - might take a walk over to the KH around the corner too over the weekend and make a few deposits
A not-so-silent lamb
Aspire to inspire before you expire -
8
hey! tried searching for yourself on the net?
by ballistic intype in your name (or username) and jehovah into any internet browser or search engine.. typing in jehovah ballistic finds me on this page: .
http://members.boardhost.com/eden-2-outpost/.
and i only made 1 post there and havent been on the net that long.. the only other person i tried it for was fred hall jehovah and that also worked in ie.. a friend of mine specialises in getting people listed on the net, but i'm not too sure how individual pages are picked up from message boards like this.
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Lady Lee
Awesome - I knew a few people had put links to my web page but this is kewl
16 on Google
A not-so-silent lamb
Aspire to inspire before you expire -
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So Are All Your Problems Brooklyn's Fault Then?
by Englishman inin another post, jan h said about this site:.
...there is a very angry crowd there, for obviously and understandable reasons, who will accept no dissent regarding their core dogma: that the wts is responsible for all ills and problems in life.
if what he says is correct, then i am very alarmed at this.
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Lady Lee
Are all my problems Brooklyn's fault?
No way
Early in life I was sexually abused. Needless to say we had an extremely dysfunctional family. No one in the family got any help - doubt anyone did in those days.
My mother started to study with the JWs when I was 11. She was living with a man - she had his baby and he was sexually abusing me. When my mother found out about this she sent me into foster care and stayed with him. The elders strongly encouraged her to marry him. Another extremely dysfunctional arrangement but this time with the blessing and encouragement of the elders. The elders knew about the sexual abuse but still encouraged her to stay with him. No police report was ever made.
After 3 years of foster care I returned to live with my mother. The man was gone - he refused to marry her and took off leaving her with a lot of problems.
At 17 my mother pushed me into a marriage with a young man who was baptized the week before the wedding - lord knows she could not have arranged this any faster. I realized after 2 weeks that it was a terrible mistake and stayed for 15 years of abuse, trying to be a good wife and mother and a good little JW wife - submission and all.
I suffered PTSD, depression, was suicidal, had panic and anxiety attacks, was a caretaker for far too many people and perfectionist.
Now how much of this is the WT responsible for?
Well they are not responsible for what happened to me before my mother got involved. They are not responsible for the sexual abuse by my fatehr or mother's boyfriend.
They are responsible for not reporting this man to the police after they knew what he had done. He was going to meetings. He had a long history of abusing young girls - his 3 daughters from before he was with my mother, my aunt(same age as me) and me and later on my younger sister. I discovered much later that he moved to the states and married a woman with children and they fostered kids - all girls.
As for the marriage hmm this is a little more difficult to answer. While the WT is not responsible for this person's abuse to me and my children their teachings certainly gave him the ammunition he needed to justify his actions/abuses. He used WT teachings to beat his children. He used WT teachings to control us and manipulate us to being perfect little JWs so he would look good. This only got worse after he became an elder. He used WT teachings to have sex on demand without regard for my health or feelings. When I went to the elders about issues and problems they supported him. The WT is definitley responsible at this point.
Is the WT responsible that I didn't leave? Well if I hadn't been taught:
that he was the head of the family and I had to be in submission
that wives had no voice
that marriage was until death with no other way out
that I would lose all family, friends, faith and community if I left
that the WT org was the only true path to God
that I was not respectful of God's arrangement
that my willful spirit was being tested
that God would take care of it in his own time
that as parents it was our responsiblity to beat our children
that there was no where else to gomaybe I would have left at 2 weeks - or 3 months - or 2 years - or...
maybe if I felt like there were choices I might have discovered my power a lot earlier. I would say the WT IS responsible for what they teach people.
As for the depression PTSD anxiety panic.... well some of that is pre-JWdom. Some of it is from the abusive marriage.
BUT a lot of that comes from teachings that leave a person feeling there is no choice. Obey or else.
After I left I still had to deal with ALL the abuse issues - the sexual abuse, the physical abuse, the emotional abuse. That was the order I dealt with them. And when all that was done the was one more to look at - spiritual abuse.
The whole issue of spiritual abuse had been longer - probably because the others were much more pressing for me when I first left. But after about five years out I found a great anger, sadness and grief at the spiritual abuse. Again I had trusted someone - something and had been badly hurt.
I had been conned and lied to. Information had been withheld. I was controlled and manipulated.
I will be 50 years old in a few days. I went to a 1st birthday party for a friend's little boy today. I sat there watching this little guy dig into his birthday cake. Fists full of icing and cake smeared all over his face. He had a ball. Just like all the pictures we see of baby's and birthday cakes. It was delightful to watch.
But underneath my delight at watching this little fellow was a sadness that I never got to watch my children do this when they were little. So many things we missed out on becuase they were "wrong" or "pagan" and therefore "Satanic"
I don't remember birthdays before the JWs. I had my first birthday party when I turned 40. Now this isn't a problem but it makes me - us - different. How many things have we missed? How many times have you entered a situation and not known the "rules" or expected participation? What do you say when someone asks you about birthdays and xmas and all you are stuck with is a blank history or "I went on service"
I see that there are many times when I am in a new situation - one that most people are familiar with - that I am out of my element. I find myself sitting on the sidelines watching how people "do it"
Not problems really - just little things at this point. Customs - socialization - ways of being that were missed and need to be learned now.
Sometimes it is adolescence, sometimes childhood, and sometimes a stage of life later on that we need to go back to and learn
Tehy are not responsible for everything but theyare responsible for some things and they certainly contributed to a lot.
A not-so-silent lamb
Aspire to inspire before you expire -
8
Could I get sum cult links?
by jerome incan any of you posters provide some good links to anticult sites or articles.. i've been to ex-cult.org, fom.com and others but i need something more specific.. i was thinking about anything around the lines of an article explaining in detail any or all of the following:.
1) how cults use decietfull recruting tacktics.
especially how they put on a show for the new converts but only reveal the true doctrines/attitudes after the recruit is hooked;.
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Lady Lee
http://geocities.com/Athens/Forum/9575/charactr.html
or take your pick from this list
http://www.freeminds.org/othrlink.htmA not-so-silent lamb
Aspire to inspire before you expire